The Eerie Sound of a Dying Heart

It's a mess
a royal mess
feelings and concocted emotions
clamped and shut in a fuckin drum
snowflakes falling
on a lost battlefield
bones broken like promises
litter all that once was
painted in shades of black and purple
lost prayers to a dying sun
the army of souls crowds the passage
to above and below
angels weep
demons howl
death walks
in a crimson cowl
he reaches through
through and through
time and memory
to shake your fucking hand

---
got a beehive in my bonnet, motherfucker.

remains

what is left to say now
when all is said and done
bartered tears, still bitter
fall like acrid bile

the lack of words is peaceful
a void muttering dirges
a cacophony of disgusting sounds
the tides bring forth only bad news

a murder of crows circles the skull
a crown of black menace
screaming at everything in the world
gloomy feathers stick to face

the rage is vomit that threatens to spill
through whatever exit it can find this minute
but clamped shut, giving no fucks
till critical mass implodes this structure

silence

should have barb-wired my lips ages ago
what use are the words that fall on deaf ears
when the meanings change, re-arrange
depending on what they want to hear

should have plugged my ears with wax
what fun in listening to sermons
that make sense only in a make-believe world
while reality gnaws on the edges of the sanity

should have broken my fist long ago
before it became an accusing finger
to point at the logic they never understood
now the words forgotten, bitterness lingers

silence is golden, it costs the same too
now the silence eats me from inside
on the surface everything is calm
on the inside, I scratch the wounds raw
-\-
let it all out, right?

New year,  new fear.

vapor

only the hint of a scent
a memory buried deep inside
that pulls like a fish hook
in the mouth of the whale of memories
suddenly the sky is the exact shade
as it was that one morning
the trees smell fresh and new
as if sprung from the pages of a book
who painted this vista
on the napkin of past?
when the colors should have eaten through
long ago
why is it visible now
in frightening clarity
as if the past and present
have fucked through each other
and just like it appeared
it vanishes, leaving a thin wetness
like vapor

The Crunch

these dreams taste like blood
they wake me up with violence
it's that time of the night again
the edge of dreams and memories
i'm hurling through space
the void tears open my face
the stars spin like marionettes
sleep is just death without the grace

still i wait to sleep again 

curled up in my thoughts
that wrap around me like smoke
of my own burning
forced to close my eyes
dream of dim-lit rooms
grab on to a sliver of
a picture in my mind
who cares if my hands bleed
if i grin or scowl like a maniac
stuck to a day in my head
sucking dry the seconds

----
i scream, you scream, we all scream, life is horrible.

The Machine God Relents

A deep black silence shrouds the night
Feeding on the pain and misery
Of the broken few that dare
To step out, crippled by their fright

The slow rain never lets off in this city
Slick, damp, mold grows like hopelessness
High on the opium of hope and lies
The denizens deserve no pity

The sick clouds part to reveal a filthy moon
The dying of the ground in a slow heartbeat
Jaundiced eyes stare at their reflections
Wishing for an end, wishing it to be soon

The machine god has their name on his list
Marking them off one by one
He takes to pleasure or pain in this act
Of crushing lives in the palm of his fist
----

I don't know. I don't know.

slow burn

a matchstick stuck in an eternity
a flame painted on the face of time
dreams with carbon framed reality
strong as bones, brittle as twine
delusions are the flavor of the day
garnished with paranoia and fear
clouds smother the light
everything is clear
clear as the day
i first set my eyes on you
started this slow burn
fire become desire
I'd burn burn burn
again and again