Little Darling

we don't see eye to eye at times
when you are not looking through my eyes
i ignore you, leave you alone
in dark rooms and lonely places
but i remember you
you are always in my mind
in the little steel room in my head
you are banging your fists at the walls
till the metal dimples outwards
like warts on diseased skin
and you call out my name
you scream, yell, and whisper to be let loose
i hold on
but sometimes the walls are thin
and your whispers reach through
like a prayer of the dying
or the already dead
is there really any difference?
in the darkness I can see
your smile all teeth
getting stronger, wickeder
ready to explode
one of these days
i could listen to the songs
read the words of hate
think up scenarios that give me peace
but nothing and nothing at all
compares to the maddening visions
you put in front of me
let go, you urge
as i choke on my own vomit
as my doubts grow
about my sanity
or the rest of the sinless world
you touch me like a lover
you hate me like a mother
my heart beats within your fist
my breath filters through your lungs
my words bleed through our intertwined tongues
there is no rest
sleep is a fool's promise
there will be enough time to sleep
once we are done with the world
little darling.

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Some carry their demon, others are carried by their demons. Same coin, different sides.