How To Break A Man

How do you break a man?

From a giant to the bottom of a trash can?

The recipe is simple

It's a beauty like a dimple

You bring that man

Face to face

With a beautiful girl

And make him fall in love

If he doesn't fall in love

You try another girl
And another

And another

This requires patience

For breaking men isn't an easy task

Once this man has fallen in love
He will be weak
He might think that love has made him strong
But he is wrong

The heart weakens in the tender palaces of love

Love in a pin you can stab

An insult you can grab

It hurts most, where it hurts the most

The you slowly break the man

Inch by inch
Day by day

Till he is disillusioned

And alone

Till he has no place called home

Then you take away the thing he loves

A tender kiss of goodbye

A finger traced upon a thigh

The little things

That get lost

As a brave man

Turns to a ghost

A memory of what he was

Once upon a time

You Break Me

With every step and every action

With every word and every reaction

With every glance and every sigh

You break me just a little more

I can save me from the world

I can save the world from me

But what do I do of your indifference?

It's breaking me

It hurts more than a wound

To see you change

Into someone you're not

This savage time

Even my thoughts decay

The flowers wilt

The water is green

The pain is deeper now

Things

Just 

Stop 

Making 

Sense

Broken, here I lie

Staring at the sky

sleepwalking existence

nothing can stop the water

it finds its way through the walls

through the cracks

through the seams

through the beams 

of the soul of this building 

then stains appear

like some hidden morbid fear

in the soul of a man

(do people really become ugly

when they think ugly thoughts?)

the smell of water is everywhere

the walls are now stained

impure

as i wait for another accident

to wake me up from this sleepwalking existence

to make me feel something alive

am i breathing?

i don't think i am

i don't think i'll mention 

i'm not even paying attention

because ugly people have ugly intentions

beautiful people do, too

just like me and you

Stolen Words

They can steal my tweets, my words, my jokes

Copy paste these words wherever they like

Get them tattooed in their skins for fake admiration

But they still won't feel what I felt

When I poured these words 

From the black depths of my soul

Like dark blood falling on white sheets

Like dark blood painting the walls and ceilings

Painting patterns to invoke

The demons made of smoke

They won't know when I felt like shit

They won't know the elation, the joy

They won't know the sadness of lost toys

I've diluted the blood with tears

Just so I could write some more

About my hopes and my fears

They will never know. 

I belong to these words 

And these words belong to me

They can be stolen, but they'll never belong to them

--

I need to do a part two of this poem. Still feels strangely unfinished.

Remember The Magic?

Do you remember the magic?

If you don't, let me help you

Because I want to help you

I'll even say please

I want to show you the magic

So let's go, you and me

Before things turn too tragic

Remember the day of your 

Ninth birthday

When you ripped gift paper off gifts

there was surprise in your eyes

that was magic

Remember the rain on a Monday morning 

When mother said it's okay to not go to school

And you stayed in all day playing video games

Or reading comics in your room

that was magic

Remember the time you went to a new place

How the light played tricks with shadows

How those places smelled

Those peculiar smells that you associate with only those places

that was magic

So where is that magic now?

We have to find it, you and I

We have to dig deep down in our memories

And relive that special memory

Only for a second maybe

To recapture

The Darkness Will Eat Me

I have been staring at the screen for so long

So dazed, so fazed

My memories erased

There is nothing more left to take now

Just the ashes of my soul

Falling down in this dirty air

I am not here or there

I am everywhere and nowhere

Just questions in my head 

With no answers visible

I am waiting to be dead

Waiting for a miracle

Who needs the answers anyway?

Who needs the truth?

There is only pain on this planet

And space is so far away

(so far away)

There was this place called home 

Is it there anymore?

Where life was simple

Where air was pure

Where if you closed your eyes

You would hear for miles

The distant whistles of a trains 

(Rolling rolling)

Going somewhere I'll never go

I know that I don't know

What all this means

Maybe it means nothing

The big black awaits us

The final silence

The shame

Of being born again

The shame of living a life like this

Staring at screens all the time

While our batteries run low

I know that I don't know

But if you go, take me with you

I can't be here alone

The darkness will eat me

Words Chased Me Home Today

I was chased by some words today
They followed me to my home
They clung to my shoes
They climbed in my bones

Those words did something to my brain
Now all my thoughts are weird and strange
The words traveled through my blood
Seems my heart has been rearranged

My fingers tickle and skin rips away
The words bleed on this keyboard
All sticky and stacky but oh so happy
Words are never ever ever bored

I watch fascinated, as I bleed away
Words crawl on this screen and sit in lines
I have nothing more left to say
I am fine. Really. I am fine.

I Have Seen

I have seen dreams die

In the eyes

of men 

who slave from 9 to 9

I have breathed 

the stench of fear

and failure

in office cubicles

I have felt

a random urgency

a pressure

of doing something

there is no pride in just moving

from one place to another

to and fro and to

I have seen nothing new

The Flame

all these thoughts are hurting my head

but this pain is nothing new

it's been with me like a constant dread

even when my thoughts were few

the bubbles froth under the surface

while above is serene and calm 

anger and hate collide in this place

i bleed crimson on my palm

do these ideas have any meaning

none of this ever makes sense

am i awake or only dreaming

this life is just pretense

the flame that burns in me is violent

facing the winds and storms, abashed

once I wished that it was silent

but that moment has passed

now it's all noise and chaos

breaking through the walls i built

this gain will be no one's loss

when the leaves of memories wilt

the rain smelled better

the rain smelled better

when we had to go to school

now it's just an inconvenience 

on way to office

there was a joy in puddles

now they just make the shoes dirty

the innocence is lost

the memories are a ghost

future was exciting when we were little

now there is only fear of future

and the tension that no one mentions

of the inevitable, coming fast

is this the life we had dreamed of?

is this all we really wanted?

where are those dreams now?

i want to strangle them to death.

Excel Sheet Sickness

What kind of strange days are these?

I feel as if I am floating

Above everything that I see

I can even see me

My thoughts are flying in slow-motion

Unable to express any emotion

What strange sickness assails me?

Why won't it set me free?

My sense of smell has time-traveled it seems

I can smell chemistry labs and brick beams

The morning smell of sunrise

The evening smell of birds coming home

I remember my childhood like it was yesterday

When the only care was homework and holidays

Now I think about Excel sheets and weekends

Just Excel sheets and weekends

Excel sheets on weekends

Bumped Into God

I bumped into God on the street

He was carrying a bundle of typewritten pages

About half of the bundle fell to the ground

And the wind took some of the pages away

I am sorry, I said, even though I was not

What a clumsy old God, I thought

As I made a half-hearted attempt

To pick some of the pages up

The old God just stood and watched

Carrying about half of the bundle in his hand

Stupidly, his mouth moved, making words

But I was not sure if I had heard

I picked the pages the best I could

I said, watch you step old God, you should

You might bump into another one of me

He took the pages from my hand, silently

Skittered away

Without looking back

Ghost in the Coffee Machine

It buzzes and hisses

It turns and grinds

It shits out liquid fire

But no one really minds

The ghost in the coffee machine

It spoke to me today

It said words of pain and fire

That I couldn't comprehend anyway

We tried hard to communicate

But we couldn't make a headway

The only emotion I sensed was hate

Anything else, it wouldn't say

Now the coffee is extra bitter

It tastes of desire

And dreams crushed really fine

The coffee machine tells me to resign

--

Just some random weirdness. The coffee machine in office is my best friend.

Pieces

the thing in my chest is broken

shattered into a million jagged pieces

that i collected in the bleeding palm of my hand

and threw in the sky

now we're looking

we're looking at you

watching your every move

watching you grind and groove

you should also watch out too

hey, you

just watch out

one of these days

one of these pieces

will fall like a meteor

through the atmosphere

and smash your skull in

like a bullet from god

Just Empty Words

You don't have to be wrong

For me to be right

For the sake of this poem

We must continue to fight

We can't keep looking for peace

We will never find it

It's hidden in the past 

But we can't rewind it

The only way out

Is within and without

Confusion and chaos

Misery and mess

Who is fucked?

Who is blessed?

Who knows?

No one does

It's all guesses and ideas

Just empty words

Found Poetry

A little background: I saw this phone "review" on flipkart, and it seemed pretty poetic to me. So, I divided it into lines where I felt appropriate, without editing for grammar or typos. The end result is this. Very Nissim Ezekiel. Enjoy :) 

5 Reasons why I would buy this phone
Disclaimer :I am pretty much an android user for 2 years,
which makes my review little aggressive.
Any android fan boys out there
please don't be offended.

1.I get Windows Phone OS with all the apps I need,

I don't need my phone just to have angry bird 

or talking tom,

what I need is quality apps which work for me. 

Facebook and Twitter and all other social sites integrated into the OS 

(so I don't have to do to marketplace install their apps which doesn't help much :D ) 

will save lot of time going through apps 

and figuring out what's new in all of them.

Guys why do you need so much apps in market ? 

Are you gonna install 100000+ apps in your phone ?? 

Are you kidding ?

2. In built Outlook Mobile Client: 

I have an android tablet which I use as my alarm. 

Yeah 

its good for just that. 

When I already spent enough on a tab/smartphone, 

why would I not get a world class Email client or browser? 

Trust me 

The default Email Active sync do not sync folders I have specified 

on my outlook 

nor google has a concept of giving regular update. 

Cannot blame them 

for the fact their vendors messed it all. 

So I will be forced to Buy Email clients like "TouchDown" 

which I found the only app giving a good professional Email sync.
In Case of Windows Phone 

We get the outlook mobile itself present, 

and I get to see all my meetings on the start screen. 

I get complete office mobile version which is an added bonus .

3. Nokia build quality: 

The screen resolution is awesome for this price. 

I will tell you why I feel that. 

I recently gifted someone an android phone 

when nokia did not have 710 or 610 

it cost me around 9.5k, from Samsung. 

The screen resolution is so bad 

that I can see the pixels in them :D. 

This model has soft key which even Lumia 710 does not have. 

I would say this phone would have cost 15k-17k if this was released 

1 year before. 

And this looks to have Gorilla Glass.

4.Camera : 

Agree they don't give you a VGA

(oldddd technology) 

front cam. 

However 

at this price there aren't much phone who will give 5MP cam with LED flash. 

Am I talking like a nokia sales man? 

well I have a Samsung Galaxy S, 

much celebrated phone from the Apple rivals.. 

they don't have a flash for their camera. Nor does their 15k phone Galaxy Ace has it... 

guess what.. an entry level Windows Phone from Nokia has it...

5. Fits my budget: 

I would not spend on 40k iphone to show off. 

I am happy to spend for something fits my needs 

and this phone does it and covers my work and social life.

I Think I Know

I think I understand why dogs go insane

Why they howl at night 

Deriding unknown gods with their wails

I think I know why it hurts so much

We live, breathe and die

Just as a vehicle of suffering 

I think I know why we dream

These thoughts bubbles in mind-drums

Escaping into the night, screaming

I think I know why people kill

They want to feel something

That is better than love or lust

I think I know why 

I think I know

But I know not

Why poetry needs to make sense

Why can't we drown in beauty

And breathe in deliverance. 

Who Cares for Perfection?

let us be rotten to the core

let us never be sure

let us be fueled by action

let us ignore the perfection

we know we'll never attain it

it's a goal we'll never gain it

so let us stop the inaction

and let go of perfection

we need something tangible 

we need something bearable

we need something to hold

we need something bold

but we keep chasing a dream

through the rivers and streams

we go with flow, but we don't know

perfection is always a no go

you can ask why that would be right

because perfection is end to the fight

it's all about said and done

how can you improve perfection?

defocused

psychedelic misinterpretations

psychosomatic invitations

it all drifts, with the flow

faster as we go, as we go

do we really know?

the thoughts within?

the price of a smile?

the chemistry of sin?

questions are good

she said

ask me a question

i nodded my head

but i had no question

so i just stared

at her

till my eyes defocused

and she blurred

into butterflies and sunshine.

When the night is dark

When the night is dark

Words rush in

From crowded corners

Where they hide

Forgotten and scared 

Of everything

But with the lights off

It's open season

They seek no rhyme

Follow no reason

When away from the keys

And pen and paper

Words rush in

As brightness tapers

The crawl under the skin

In fingers 

In hair

Tangled, we dream

But they disappear

As morning light

Silently appears

Throwing It All Away

I am throwing it all away

These responsibilities

There will just be the road

Under my shoes

Me in those shoes

I will walk, I will walk

Till the soles rot away

Till the soul breaks out

From the shell it is caught in

I need to give it time

So I'll walk

Away from these responsibilities 

And everything

Watched Me Burn

When I fought the dragons
When I swam the seas
When I burned in fires
Were you even thinking of me?

Pretty one
Sweet child
How could you
Stay wild?

I was lying in the pits of darkness
I was dying, slowly out of breath
All I needed was a touch
But maybe I asked too much

Then I crawled deep under my ashes
My wounds filled with rotting worms
I dreamed, of your fleeting warmth
While you watched me burn

For Fuck's Sake

After the stories are told
All complaints are old
The suicide hotline is cold
Who will listen to you now?

You've complained all year
While others lived in fear
For your dark shadow to clear
Can you see the setting sun now?

You've fucked up every source
Screamed till you were hoarse
Now you tap angry code in morse
Where is your voice now?

The blood has run dry
The razors are cold, so cold
You can't even cry
Are you feeling bold?

Death Of The Coffee Machine

There was no way I could realize
I was taken by surprise
There was no way I could've seen
The death of the coffee machine

It just sat there silently
Staring back at me
No water dripping, no powder moving
Through its extremities

I shed a tear
Sighed a sigh
So saddened
Nearly cried

Murderous without my morning dose of caffeine
I mourned the death of coffee machine
I wondered if this could be a dream
And if I'd wake up with a scream
But it was real, as real as the saddest scene
Of an empty, non-working coffee machine
Irritated, De-caffienated
I grumbled and heavily hated
The coffee would also be missing me
So should I drink a cup of tea?  

So, she said

Kiss me, she said
I followed where she led, me
Even though I could not see
I trusted her
But her words were sweetened blades
Cold like fires of hades
I loved them still
Just like I loved her
How I loved her
I swallowed her lies
The blades were her eyes
I bled
She led
It was fine for a while
Till we reached the Nile
She climbed a crocodile on the shore
Told me to follow
I just sat there by the bank of the river
Cuz I didn't know where to go.

Inspired

Yesterday, I was so inspired
Come today, I am so tired
Days have passed
I've still done nothing
Is that why
My muse has ceased to sing?
It's futile to make sense of this
But I know I will still try
When I find the answer
I'll curl up in a corner and die
My corpse will become a part of the ground
Mushrooms will grow all around
In the darkness and the shit
I guess, this is it.

Is it?

Hopeless

It's been too long

That we've mistaken

Motion for progress

Now we're stuck in this mess

There is no way out of it

We're too deep in this shit

Stuck on vibration mode

No end to this road

The only way to go is down

With a smile or a frown

Keep digging deeper still

Dig to the bottom of this hill

Leave behind all shame and pride

And maybe fall

Through the other side.

---

Hope Less

The Inbox Zero

I've chased productivity

Tried to follow GTD

I tried to follow what I know

And made my Gmail inbox count zero

There are no unread emails anymore

I've labeled them, they're all stored

Under "Ideas" and "Follow Up"

I hope I won't mess up

The idea is to tackle things

As soon as they come up

Read the email when phone sings

And kick procrastination's ass

Wish me luck and wish me speed

Wish me all the things I need

Trying new things can be fun

When you move from place between zero and one

-------------

I don't know, this one just formed itself. 

You can google GTD. I don't follow it all, just try some things, dip my toes in its waters n all.

The Drug Called Speed

I love the acceleration 

The roaring wind in my ears

Brushing wings with danger

My spine electrified with fear

With all senses heightened

There is only road and the machine

The world just vanishes, so do I

Beyond my headlight's beam

Nothing can hurt me now

Invincible, as long as I am moving

There is strength between my legs

That's what this speed is proving

The song of the engine is everything

I won't give it up for the world

As long as this machine runs, i'd ride

And escape from all the hurt

----

Some days, riding my bike is the only good thing about the day. This one is dedicated to my bike!

Indifference

I used to be so angry

I used to be so fierce

I used to curse and swear

I used to live in fear

I still live in fear

With a calm sense of dejection

Indifference has seeped in my veins

Like cold ice water

There are few things that faze me now

I've grown over most of the pain somehow

The scabs are hard like steel

The don't let me feel

Anything

The chaos is just an undercurrent

While I float an inch above the water

I sleep slightly unsure

If I've gotten dumber or become smarter

Hey

Hey
Hey
Hey
How about you and me
We go to the sea
Enjoy each other's
Company
You and me
And me
And me

Back Again

The circle closes

We are back again

Where we started from

Sleepy and bored

In need of some coffee

And silence

Sweet blessed silence

Seeking Clarity

When I look to the horizon

All I see is darkness

Adding confusion to my thoughts

Pulling me deeper in this mess

Time comes when I can't navigate

I just feel along the walls in this place

My only compass is my hate

Which does not show on my face

Hate is the fuel in my engine

Burning me to seek clarity

Find meaning in something, anything

Sadness, madness or hilarity

Sometimes I sit in my dark room

Shut up and let the voices commune

They fight, argue and bitch to the max

I sit back, listen and relax

Clarity will come at it's own pace

I realize that it's a growth, not a destination

So I put another mask on my face

And let go of my hesitation

Clarity comes.

Hello, Coffee

I can feel this coffee sink in my gums

I know it's working to rot my teeth

As I swirl it in my mouth

It tastes as bitter as defeat

The aftertaste of poison lingers on

Like the burn of a flashbulb that has been fired

I've drank cups and cups and cups of this shit

But I still don't feel inspired

My fingers lie dead on the home keys

A home that's so far away

In my mind and geographically

I've never felt more out of place

Like a lonely jigsaw piece, I drink

This bitter coffee of defeat and shame

When I slowly stop and think

I've only myself to blame

The Gift

I'm full of so many thoughts that I need to express

Just let them flow from my mind without the need to impress

Keep the emotions raw without the words blocking them

To touch the hearts of the reader, with something almost human

I won't confuse all my thoughts

With big words and bullshit

I'll say it plain and all truth

Cuz this is how it is writ

Why make a big deal out of nothing

When we can keep it simple

There's electricity in this air

That won't let the words go dull

So this is my gift to you, dear reader

All these words that I write

Even if you're not with me

I will continue to fight

I will continue to write

A Sudden Lack of Immortality

I will not be here
In a 100 years, or so.
But it's also true
Neither will you
This time, the now, is all we've got
It's slipping away really fast
We can try to grope it
We can try to hang on
But what's the point
Time doesn't give a fuck
About you, or me, or anyone else
It goes on
And on and on
Alone
So spend some time at home
Take a break from this race
Drive slower
Chew longer
Love something
Have your heart broken
It will heal, in time
You'll fondly cherish the scar
We're all scarred after all ;)
And it won't matter
In a 100 years, or so.

Dark Hearts, Dark Deeds

She said she'd do anything

He heard her and repeated it

Then the bell rang like hell

And words turned to shit

There is nothing worse than loss

Of what you hold so dear

There is nothing worse than a coin's toss

Between hope and fear

The alternating sides of coins

Just like different human faces

One for you and one for them

They take us different places

So trust not the words

And trust not the deeds

Trust not anything

That hungers, lusts, bleeds

When you see the words

Remember what they read

Dark hearts

Dark deeds

The Tree On The Mountain

It's lonely at the top

Looking down at everything 

So far away

So out of reach

Life is a beach

The tree would never visit

For the tree on the mountain

Is lonely as lonely can be

The birds visit at times

But they fly away too

The tree on the mountain

Is as lonely as you

So won't you visit the tree

Don't you want to see

How the tree on the mountain

Spends its days 

Counting the ways

Sand would feel funny between its roots

For when the night falls dark

Dreams awaken in the tree's bark

The tree dreams it'd be free

And one day reach the sea

Breathe

The universe is closing around me

Taking me in

This claustrophobic hug

Is funny

Because

I just forgot to breathe.

The Keys Flew Away

It was a Monday in January

When the keys flew away

Slowly floating away from the keyboard

Maybe they too were bored

 

The wind took them through a window

In the side of the office

Where they took to the sky

To play with the clouds

 

The keys spun with the currents

Leaving contrails behind them

The words were imprinted on the skies

For all to see

 

Then there was me

Alone in the office

Watching a keyboard without keys

Waiting for inspiration

Remember The Words

She is the chaos child

Her soul an animal, wild

Rushing through infinities

Electric extremities

 

When she whispers in your ear

You better pay attention

Even if the meaning is clear

The secrets need a mention

 

How deep would you dig in?

To find the root of her sin

In the pages of a book

You closed and locked far away

 

Feel the fear in the darkness

Feel the terror of being alone

Remember the words she said

Welcome to the shadow zone

----------------

Check the daily short story series, Shadow Zone>> www.fubar69.blogspot.com!

It Always Rains In This City

It always rains in this city

Through the day, through the night

All the lights shine so pretty

All the darkness is so bright

There is sin in these streets

There is hunger, there is fear

Mistrust breeds deceit 

Every shadow is so clear

People drown their sorrows

In the bottles filled with fire

They don't want a tomorrow

But they fall to desire

In these streets you walk

Memories fogged like a glass

From the breath of a lover

Who never takes off her mask

It always rains in this city

Where the lights are so pretty

In the puddles and the gutters

Where hope crawls off to die

--------------

Hey all, to get the feel of this poem in prose, check my Short Story blog www.fubar69.blogspot.com where I am experimenting with noir genre. It's a cool story called Shadow Zone and I'm posting new parts every day. Hope you like reading it :)

Cheers!

Forgotten

I've forgotten

More

Than I can remember

Sure

This brain is old

Getting older

Getting colder

So cold

Fighting every day

Every night

Every waking hour

My thoughts devour

Me

I am tasty

But I'll get stuck in the throat

Of whoever tried to eat me

I'll claw and dig my way out

Of every hole

Even when I've forgotten my way back

Even then I'll remember to attack

Everything

The Fog

Life is a road
Full of fog of time
We can only see till a distance
And pray it will be fine

One step in front of another
Eyes on the prize
Even if you can't see
Keep it clear in your mind

So, walk on brother walk on
Walk my sister walk
We're all going home
Through this fog of life

We'll get there
Trust me on this
We'll get there
Sooner, or later