Monday, September 17, 2012

sleepwalking existence

nothing can stop the water
it finds its way through the walls
through the cracks
through the seams
through the beams 
of the soul of this building 
then stains appear
like some hidden morbid fear
in the soul of a man
(do people really become ugly
when they think ugly thoughts?)
the smell of water is everywhere
the walls are now stained
as i wait for another accident
to wake me up from this sleepwalking existence
to make me feel something alive
am i breathing?
i don't think i am
i don't think i'll mention 
i'm not even paying attention
because ugly people have ugly intentions
beautiful people do, too
just like me and you

Friday, September 14, 2012

Stolen Words

They can steal my tweets, my words, my jokes
Copy paste these words wherever they like
Get them tattooed in their skins for fake admiration
But they still won't feel what I felt
When I poured these words 
From the black depths of my soul
Like dark blood falling on white sheets
Like dark blood painting the walls and ceilings
Painting patterns to invoke
The demons made of smoke

They won't know when I felt like shit
They won't know the elation, the joy
They won't know the sadness of lost toys
I've diluted the blood with tears
Just so I could write some more
About my hopes and my fears

They will never know. 
I belong to these words 
And these words belong to me
They can be stolen, but they'll never belong to them


I need to do a part two of this poem. Still feels strangely unfinished.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Remember The Magic?

Do you remember the magic?
If you don't, let me help you
Because I want to help you
I'll even say please
I want to show you the magic
So let's go, you and me
Before things turn too tragic

Remember the day of your 
Ninth birthday
When you ripped gift paper off gifts
there was surprise in your eyes
that was magic

Remember the rain on a Monday morning 
When mother said it's okay to not go to school
And you stayed in all day playing video games
Or reading comics in your room
that was magic

Remember the time you went to a new place
How the light played tricks with shadows
How those places smelled
Those peculiar smells that you associate with only those places
that was magic

So where is that magic now?
We have to find it, you and I
We have to dig deep down in our memories
And relive that special memory
Only for a second maybe
To recapture

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Darkness Will Eat Me

I have been staring at the screen for so long
So dazed, so fazed
My memories erased
There is nothing more left to take now
Just the ashes of my soul
Falling down in this dirty air
I am not here or there
I am everywhere and nowhere
Just questions in my head 
With no answers visible
I am waiting to be dead
Waiting for a miracle
Who needs the answers anyway?
Who needs the truth?
There is only pain on this planet
And space is so far away
(so far away)
There was this place called home 
Is it there anymore?
Where life was simple
Where air was pure
Where if you closed your eyes
You would hear for miles
The distant whistles of a trains 
(Rolling rolling)
Going somewhere I'll never go
I know that I don't know
What all this means
Maybe it means nothing
The big black awaits us
The final silence
The shame
Of being born again
The shame of living a life like this
Staring at screens all the time
While our batteries run low
I know that I don't know
But if you go, take me with you
I can't be here alone
The darkness will eat me

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Words Chased Me Home Today

I was chased by some words today
They followed me to my home
They clung to my shoes
They climbed in my bones

Those words did something to my brain
Now all my thoughts are weird and strange
The words traveled through my blood
Seems my heart has been rearranged

My fingers tickle and skin rips away
The words bleed on this keyboard
All sticky and stacky but oh so happy
Words are never ever ever bored

I watch fascinated, as I bleed away
Words crawl on this screen and sit in lines
I have nothing more left to say
I am fine. Really. I am fine.

Friday, September 7, 2012

I Have Seen

I have seen dreams die
In the eyes
of men 
who slave from 9 to 9

I have breathed 
the stench of fear
and failure
in office cubicles

I have felt
a random urgency
a pressure
of doing something

there is no pride in just moving
from one place to another
to and fro and to
I have seen nothing new