A pause, or perhaps the end.

I've written in this space for close to 14 years. I think I am done. 

Adios, readers. 

so wrong

the smell of burning sulfur

comes from somewhere close

arms raised to the skies

as a cold wind blows

the scent of hate is strong today

the water red with blood

there is a dream, it's dying 

a face stomped into mud

with masks off we are all the same

to the void, we sing our songs

skulls and bones with a different name

how did things get so wrong

In Me

 There is a void in my days with no way to fill it. If my mind is not occupied with the random happenings of life, there is a sadness that lurks like a killer around the corner, watching me, waiting to murder any hope of joy.

 There is a blank space in my pages with things that I am too scared to write. What if the words rise up from the page, move on my arms, travel up to my face and crawl in my mouth like so many spiders. 

 There is a darkness in my heart that I dare not poke. This animal alive, grinning and slithering, filled with poison, forms dark lips to spit the question, "are you going to act like a pussy, boy?"

 There is a scream in my soul that just will not emerge. The sound rolls around in the box of my rib cage, growing stronger with every passing day, waiting to explode, like a murder of ravens from inside me.

Every prayer a fuck you to the deaf gods.

a desire to burn

fire on my finger tips

words die on my lips

a smile of corpses, mile long

sing the same sibilant song

some foil from last poem still stuck in my teeth

red tongue, black words, gums bleeding

licking lips in serpent dreams

seeking a venomous kiss

a kiss to kill me

a kiss to burn

a kiss to teach me

a lesson never learned

through torn lips

a grin, a grimace

a promise, a hunger

a desire to burn

cardiogram

________________

i like to chew foil, you see

crunched up with every memory

it taste of nothing, only discomfort

a railroad spike lodged in my head

i cannot swallow this 

metallic taste on my tongue

cutting my gums, i bleed

i cannot spit this

rolling this ball of foil in my mouth

masticating regrets, suppressing bile

thoughts rise like corpses in dead waters

stinking, bloated on the side of the road

eyes bloodshot, 

punishment for self

chewing foil 

in a DIY hell

hush

finally, 

a darkness

bleeding through the pages

waves of a dark sea

on an inky night

a pigment of imagination

of all things bright

the click of the key

the universe whimpers

a finger on the lips

disappearing into shadows

till only a glint

a hint

of a smile remains

----

bear with me.

tattoo

there are bits of you
hidden under my skin
my tongue baptized
by liquid fire
time stood still
in the moments
that you showed me
the meaning of desire

---

Hitting publish on a draft from 2018.

Fuck It Energy in 2021.

The Cut

sharp as the memory

of a stolen kiss

a tongue cold as a blade

locking lips with the abyss

fingers that rove like mad dervishes

parting skin, digging in

spinning, gyrating, lodged into crevices

to reach deeper and touch the sin

the whispers that lacerate

with the force of winter

leaving the mouth with a bloody taste

gritted teeth, each breath a splinter

this cut will not heal

it will only fester and bleed

till we refuse to feel

and watch a want become a need

---

Papercuts all over my hands. 

The Eye

A floating orb

All seeing

Unblinking

Filled with rage

A question 

Bleeding through

A vision

Turn the page

Radiating

A dying sun

Darkness enveloping

Step up to the stage

Focus

On the focus

Tunnel vision

Engage

---

2021, no more hindsight.