strife

the cosmos trapped inside me
the world still won't let me be
a ball of rage in my ribcage
shut my mouth and turn the page

swallow the anger, the pain, the fear
till the words blur, fogged up, unclear
it all means nothing, filled with zeros
a world of villains killed all the heroes

in the end it's always you, no one to stand by your side
from the hammer of doom, no place you can hide
it will come, oh, it will come, that's for sure
to destroy everything that's true and pure

till then drown yourself in the drudge of daily life
easy to be distracted in a world full of strife
every small problem is a chance to be occupied
in your head you rip apart every time they lied

The Missing Heart

He woke up one morning
Like every other morning
But the only difference, he felt with a start
No sound of beating came from his heart

He slowly put his feet on the cold floor
Took one breath, and then took some more
Somewhere inside, he wanted to scream
And hope the sound would shatter his dream

But the floor was cold under his feet
He got up and started to brush his teeth
With one hand on his chest, he tried to feel
But the absence of beats was just too real

Filed a leave from the office and drove to the hospital
A doctor prodded his chest and looked a bit ill
"Sir, there is no sound of beat in your chest,
we'll have to open you up, that would be the best."

He didn't really care one way or another,
It was just a mystery he wanted answers to
In a few hours, he was lying etherized on a table
His chest open and doctors peering in the hole

Through a daze, he heard the doctors discuss
How there was no heart pumping blood in his chest
Only a circuit board with diodes blinking
In the haze of the drugs, he started sinking

He woke up again and everything looked so neat
He placed his hand on his chest and through the bandages felt the beat
We fixed your heart, they said, it's beating alright now
They looked sure as cocks, but he was doubtful somehow

Back home, he took a kitchen knife to his chest
It hurt to cut, but he sliced through the meat
The circuit board stared back at him in the mirror
Coupled with a small heartbeat speaker

---
Fuck doctors.

nom

some are touched by greatness
some lick the lollipop of mediocrity
some languish in a haze of laze
some dream of leveling cities

but dreams are dreams
and screams are screams
the slices made of failure
and ambition is sandwiched in between

if you don't take a bite
you will never know the taste
if you don't take a chance
will this life be a waste?

you could be happy right here
in the dullness and the silence
but how will you silence your heart
that seeks a promise of violence

through the anger and the rage
through the words on the page
join the jigsaw of this life
and maybe find a way out of this maze

--
bite the sandwich or get away from the plate.

Scowl

1 AM and I'm watching TV

Happened to see me in the mirror 

The scowl on my face 

Is like an unwelcome guest on his fourth day in a house

The advertisements entice me

Fill my head with pretty colours

Make me want all the things 

That are not good for me

(How about a chilled diet Coke? Or maybe a new TV?)

It's 1 AM and I'm watching TV

The movie makes no sense to me 

Maybe I should change the channel

But the remote is missing

The TV will shut down on its own

After a while

Maybe I'll try to sleep and wonder

If there is a reboot button for the universe and this life. 

One in the Chamber

an uneasy feeling
in the pit of my stomach
is the weather changing
or am I?

should I get out the proper clothes
or choose a pen and paper
should I pop a pill
or puke it all on the page?

there was a time when I thought I knew
how it all worked, the colossal machine that turned
but the grit of failure coats my teeth
the bridges of my convictions behind me burned

the only thing to know is that you know nothing
you can bang your head in walls and never understand
when the question is to kill or be killed
what stays the hand of a man?

perhaps a gun is pointed at my head
one bullet in a chamber, a sword on a thread
when will the finger of fate pull the trigger?
and if it clicks empty, will I cry or snigger?

--
THE HAMMER OF DOOM, MOTHERFUCKER!

eat the world

a gnawing hunger
loud as thunder
threatens to rip
the fabric of the world

more, give me more
then give me some
the hunger will only end
with the setting of the sun

as the moon rises
the darkness will rise the same
the need to eat, to consume, to devour
to put something in my mouth again

chew, crunch, bite and swallow
this flesh coffin is still hollow
no matter how much I eat
this hunger I cannot beat

once I've eaten the world
I will eat the heavens too
then will come to turn of hell
once I am done with that, I will eat myself

sun rider

night erupts in a medley of colors
sound crushed like starlight in the fist of a god
all under the touch of man crumbles
taste of blood on every tongue

the rage! Oh, the rage!
flows through flesh and bones
ringing of steel singing a song
an ancient promise of violence

warriors gathered at the gates
softly say goodbyes to their fates
fevered minds entwined with faith
ready to kill, waiting to die

no ocean waits for man or beast
Sun sets the same every day
sun rider heeds to the calls of the dead
to ferry souls as he sinks in the waves

--
this is what happens when you try to write something while absolutely sleepy

crunch the void

a void
restlessness
an absence
of faith
and all the nice things
that I can never have
for what is within sight
is not within grasp
and a closed fist
is often used to punch the walls
the cockroach in my heart
is eating away all the blood and gristle
the husk of emotions that I am left with
is of no use to me

tricks - 1

devil pulled a trick on god
the apple was tainted with knowledge
but knowing was not enough
Eve needed a plan of action too

so he gave her an app on a screen
all the sins lined up in a bullet list, right here
just scroll through, all you need to do
if there's any issue, just call 666, customer care

Eve stared at the debauchery listed there
excited she was, but also scared
the apple was crunchy and filled with juice
she called up Adam and gave him the news

when Adam returned with the catch of the day
he saw Eve looking radiant and gay
what was it about some list that you said
she gave her a bite of the apple instead

in that instant, he knew of every lie
that He told them and he wanted to cry
a maelstrom of thoughts swirling in his head
wouldn't it be better if this bitch was dead?

the hammer of knowledge broke Adam's back
his conscience was soon full of tiny cracks
and the snake of doubt rolled in his guy
maybe i should cut off the head of this slut

Eve herself didn't like the look in his eyes
but filled with knowledge she was not surprised
she knew the reaction was only a natural state
The bitch of Eden had not resigned to her fate

perhaps he'd like a taste of poison
or taste of steel in the back of his throat
or maybe a loving embrace of a rock
while in his dreams, he is dead and lost

pieces on a chessboard with unknown rules
the players locked in a dance of death like fools
daggers each with eyes on another's back
no alpha, no omega, in this pack

--
This is a word in progress.
 

dead sun

when a dead sun sinks into the sea
then i'll see you there
arms wide open
waiting for me

it could be another evening
or the coming of an endless night
but i will walk into your embrace
all doubts erased by your light

in the dark moonlight
i know you will take my hand
you will move me to groove me
whisper litanies i don't understand

i would not need to
as long as you speak to me
so i will seek you
when a dead sun sinks into the sea