Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Horror In Dark

The Horror In Dark

A silent shadow twists in the half light
I step forth cautious, in fright
Curiousity is taking out the best of me
What is it there, that I can't see?

Was it a sigh I heard or a whisper?
Did it just speak my name or have I misheard?
The cat of curiousity it all alert
And the fear inside me is ready to spurt.

But what is this, now behing me!
The sound turned around me!
Did a shadow just pass through me?
What was it that I failed to see?

Claws made of steel dig in my back
So surprised I didn't see the attack
This eldritch creature lured me
Fucking Psycho Time Traveling Monkey!!!!!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Hey Monkey!

* This is something different, not the usual monkey bullshit that I write, this poem is actually about a monkey in love. Really. What? You don't trust me? :O read on then!

Let's lie together
I want to hear that you love me
It would be so much fucking fun
To see a talking monkey

So, talk monkey talk
Tell me some words of wisdom
That I have known all along
Just want to hear them from you

You can't run away today
You can't jump away from this
You are trapped in a puzzle
That is sealed with a kiss

So, walk monkey walk
Walk this path made of nails
There is never truly an end, is there?
It's all just pain then everything fails
I am so clever 'cuz I used the word "lie" for a double meaning in the first line!

Go me! :D

Shouldn't have trusted me :P 

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Love Monkey

Love Monkey

The monkey sat sad in his tree

Waiting, abating, masturbating
Thinking of her

The fruits no longer appealed to him
Hating, grating, just not mating
With girl monkeys

The sky was always full of clouds
Staining, gaining, always raining
On his head

The other monkeys laughed at him
Howling, growling, he kept scowling
At himself

Yes, monkeys do fall in love.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Monkeys in L0v3

Well, since no one is coming to this blog and reading poems (except maybe the spam bots) so I think it is time to do something drastic, like, write shitty love poems, with monkeys in them. 

You read it right, stay glued to the blog and keep hitting refresh, you are about to be fucked off your feet. This is going to be nothing like the web has not seen before.

Love and monkys, who would have thought, well I DID!

Saturday, August 16, 2008


Lot of people email me to ask about the origins of the eternal conflict between Monkeys and Tankman. Today, I shall try to explain the origins of the lore, though the tale is shrouded by the dirty laundry of time travel and the future that we all might or might not have to face. To put it in simple layman terms, the Monkeys won over us all sometime in the future. Mankind fucked itself over, without any protection and died without any warning. But, ah the lovely but, one survived and maybe the one would restart the computer of humanity...who knows. 

Here are the origins of the lore, the somewhat fogged and unclear description of what really happened...

How It All Ended and How It All Began

When the human race was destroyed
The animal kingdom was overjoyed
They planted trees in minefields
The animals ate all the cheese

Soon, no sign of humans remained
Four legged beasts walked in times square (or what was left of it)
Radiation gave them cancer in the brain
Highly intelligent they all became

The one species that was the best affected
The monkeys grew strong in flesh and intellact
Supremacy over all they accepted, because
You just don't argue with an intelligent 12 foot monkey

But somewhere the light bulb of hope flickered
A boy woke up inside inside a tank, alone
He picked up his father's fumer
And swore to eliminate the monkeys

The day of reckoning shall come
When The Tankman gets his driving license
He will drive his tank out of the darkness
And teach the monkeys some fucking sense


How many monkey poems have we written? Anyone up for the count?

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Drunk Worms

Alright, before you start reading this one, there is a new poem below
this too. Here we go.


There are drunk worms in my drink
But I will drink them too I think
They look real crunchy and anyway
I bought beer but forgot Kurkure*

I got worms at the bottom of this bottle
Which I got from the bar of a hotel
Somewhere in the past decade or so
Will I throw it away? Oh no!

So, I pour this drink into my glass
And I raise a toast to her ass
Shit, I think a worm just winked at me
Or maybe closed his eyes

I think this drink is real real good
The worms have all become swimmers
If floating is a style, they will excel
Floating like something dead...oh well
No, I am not drunk, today, will be tomorrow so expect more psycho poetry.
I'm planning to get a LOT of drunk tomorrow, Vodka season is here :D

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Free Worse

I have become the perfect geek
I spit data bytes when I speak
Might be a geek, but I'm not meek
For, I shall inherit the earth

When the monkeys are done with it.

I'm downloading all day and all night
I'm somehow obsessed with being right
But, I do not care if I'm wrong
We all know we have heard this song

Cuz we have downloaded it before

I have not seen the sun in 23 days
I quite like lesbians, but I'm scared of gays
My skin is bleached clean of all things brown
I'm too lazy of coming and going around

God, give me a Segway
Most people think I'm joking when I saw I am a shitty poet. HA!

Sunday, August 10, 2008

The Sentimental Poem

The Sentimental Poem

People do not like poems about monkeys
People get riled by genius
They feel bogged down and fucked up
When a word rhymes with monkey

People do not like poems about fun
People do not like poems about tanks
People like poems about getting bored
And I stuff my poems with search engine keywords

People do not like poems about animals
People like poems about sex and drugs
People might like poems about lesbianism and gays
What do I know, what can I say?

People like poems about loss and love, I think
People like stupid poems, 'cuz they are stupid too!
There is lot of stupid people coming to this blog
The Lord of Idiots, ME! not you!
A brilliant example of SEO poetry :)

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Holding On

The song that I used to sing
what we shared in between
it was mine, it was yours
it was a whole lot more
Night after night
neither darkness nor light
stood a chance to stop
what once began
It isn't this
and it isn't that
but it's enough
to keep us afloat
Sometimes through laughter
other times through pain
we went to memory lane
and we were us again

Now I sing a different song
I wait for you to sing along
let's do this now
and do it again
Guest Writer
We all need something to hold on to, an anchor for the soul.

*N says [woo!]

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Last War

I sent a monkey into space
With a grin plastered on his face
The monkey flew and never came back
All his bananas I had myself packed

I sent a tank in space too
It was a tank all painted blue
It floated among the angry stars
It started wars

I sent a car into space for free
Where it recorded the war and mailed it to me
At first it never made any sense
And still it doesn't.

I wrote the last war between monkey and tank
Today my salary got deposited in the bank
But I am writing poems that are strange
Some things deranged they never change
I think I will spare you all the pain and make this the last monkey poem.

Ha ha, kididing!

Monday, August 4, 2008


Drip by drip
The vacuum fills
With even more nothing

You fall asleep
Dreaming of sea
It's ok if its not me

And in my dreams
The shadows crawl
But I no longer scream

Because I remember
The December
The moment that was mine

So fly away sparrow
I guess your time has come
And I can hear mine approaching

This is for a friend who is leaving for strange lands. All the best love.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

What is it?

<Photo 1>

Is this madness?
Is this love?
Is this hate?
Or all of the above?

Is this war?
Is this a car?
Is this a guitar?
Am i going to far?

Is this a joke?
Is this a rock?
Is this a poke?
Does anyone do that anymore?

Is this wall marta?
Is this fucked-art-a?
Is this a cart-a?
Fuck off bitch, THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAAAA!!!!!


300 the movie still rules! Have you seen the 300 spoofs?

oh, and the poem is crossposted on my facebook notes :)